• jazminesjournal

How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard?

It's official, I have been travelling Canada & away from home for 2 years, today.

I'm writing this blog post on the morning of my 730th day of being as independent as I could ever be.

Moving away from home is simply life changing, yet is not always sunshine and roses. People who have travelled will agree in the statement that it changes you, it changes you for the better but that doesn't go without the patches of loneliness, confusion & regret.

The reason I chose to travel was to "get away" from my own personal negativity, my own battles with mental health, my own desire to really "find myself". In the same breathe it was my desire to step outside of my own norm & experience something new.

These two years have undoubtedly given me the opportunity to experience something very new. The new that comes in several different formats.

New experiences, new firsts, ticking off things of my own personal bucket list which I never knew should ever be on my bucket list as it's things I never knew I would ever be fortunate to experience. The new opportunity for independence. The new opportunity to meet so many new people that have no idea who you are and you can be honestly and truly yourself without the hidden pre-meditated thoughts on who they think you are as a person from childhood playground comments.

There was nothing wrong with my life back home but I was so desperate to leave. I soon discovered that it had nothing to do with the people back home, but my own acceptance of myself.

I could never adequately explain my thoughts, emotions and battles with my mental state as I never could quite understand it myself. Moving away from everything and everyone really pushed me out of my comfort zone & falling out with a life long friend that I moved across the world for really forced me into that "deep end" of independence.

I can honestly hand on heart say that I do not regret a single thing in my life as everything that has happened has happened for reason and been pivoting points to land me in the self accepting, truly & undeniable happiness that I never thought I was capable enough to reach.

Over these two years I have experienced so many firsts including, yet not limited to:

Skiing, Road tripping, tubing down a lake, Shopping in one of the largest malls in the world, hiking, camping, driving on the wrong side of the world, climbing mountains, meeting new people, being just a metre away from wildlife including BEARS & SO MUCH MORE.

Canada has in short, and I know I have mentioned this time & time again, has completely & utterly changed my life & it has been the most incredible experience.

Canada has reminded me of how kind people generally are, and how we are more alike than we are different. I am so incredibly grateful for this experience. When we are grateful, we see beauty illuminate more brightly all around us. We appreciate more of the simple joys and the wonders of discovery.  We see, or rather we choose to see, the best of everything and in everyone. Travel gives you perspective, when you have a chance to step away from the daily grind. The things that are troubling you can suddenly seemed more manageable, or even small, when you can put things into perspective - Which is exactly what I have experienced myself to understand it to be true.

These are some of the reasons why I love to travel. Travel reminds me of the simple things in life.  To give me the perspective I need.  To re-energize me when I feel weighed down.  To see the world through refreshed lens.

"The gladdest moment in human life is a departure into unknown lands.”

Sir Richard Burton

Today is an extremely sad day for me but at the same time equally as happy. I'm sad because today I have my 'leaving party' I'm about to say goodbye to some people who have contributed to the most amazing two years of my life, and I am coming to an end of the most incredible experience I have ever had. However I am happy as I am whole heartedly grateful for the time that I have had in Canada. I have fallen head over heels in love with this extraordinary country & all the people I have met while travelling.

I am so excited to see all of my friends and family back home. Most of whom have got engaged, had babies, started new careers & excelling in them tremendously. I am so excited to celebrate all these things with the people who have supported me no matter what, no matter if I'm 5 or 5,000 miles away.

This isn't goodbye. I am confident that I will find my way back to Canada eventually. This is just see you later.

Travelling means something different to so many people, but something I know for sure is that it sure as hell the best thing I have ever achieved.

But something that resonates with me fully is:

How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard?

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